Day 21...Part 2

Wow. What a HORRIBLE day. And I DON'T mean the weather. How funny to see all the posts on Facebook about the rain and wind when it's just plain worse here. I honestly thought I would be making the best post ever...we were THISCLOSE to getting our walking papers. The Fluid stopped draining over the weekend, chest xray showed everything DRY inside so they pulled the tube yesterday at 2:00. This morning's xray showed TONS of fluid, so they did an ECHO and saw there was too much to try to treat with lasix. So our surgeon, Dr. Azakai, is inserting ANOTHER drain tube (number 5) in the OR as we speak...because the fluid is right around Tanner's heart. When Dr. Azakai came to talk to me this afternoon, he was surprised we were still here. His thoughts were the fluid just moved from Tanner's right side to the center of his chest. The GOOD news is the fluid is right on top, so there isn't a lot of other body parts to try to go around. One other doctor had offered to place the chest tube, but Dr. Azakai wanted to do it. I'm glad because he knows Tanner, and I feel best with him. Then our cardiologist came by and said Tanner's heart looks WONDERFUL, it's just this darn fluid making trouble. But once again, we are reassured that THIS HAPPENS. But once it stops, we're good to go. But who knows when that will be.

I've never gotten so many hugs in the hospital than today. Everyone feels bad for us and guess what? We finally get a spot in the Step-down unit and now have to move back to the overflow Cardiac ICU. What a bummer. The big, opened area, noisy room. Tanner should be out for the night...they are sedating him for the procedure and last time that lasted a few hours. He woke up, sipped some water, and went back to sleep. But who knows what will happen tonight. Everything changes in a milli-second here. Yesterday our nurse practitioner had told Mark maybe by the end of the week we'd be discharged. Today she told me to tell Mark NOT TO ASK HER AGAIN! This is the SECOND time she's had to give us the bad news of an extended stay.

I am ready to have a nervous breakdown. How can you help do you ask? PRAY THAT THIS WILL BE OVER SOON! I know many of you have offered to come and visit...but it's no fun here and I am always running up and down, back and forth for Tanner and listening to advise from the doctors and nurses. And our space is SO SMALL. (And I don't shower every day...gets kinda ripe...I hope the nurses think it's Tanner!) I appreciate all your texts, emails, voicemails, and facebook posts. I get them all...please forgive me for not answering. I am so drained and exhausted from the very thought of still being here. I get all my strength to keep it together from all of your encouragement. It is very difficult being away from "normalcy"...and my family most of all. Mark is trying to hold it together for the kids at home and keep the routine going. It sucks (OMG I must be losing it...I HATE that word!) but when those big brown eyes bat at me and say, "I love you Mommy"...you forget all else and give big hugs and kisses to our wonderful baby, Tanner. AND forget the screaming this afternoon for 2 hours; "I want ice! Get me ice! I'm hungry! Get me Daddy noodles! Go AWAY!" due to being NPO (no food or drinks) because of the procedure.

More to follow...